Fear

My fear can be difficult for me, after all i'm the only one of my kind....aren't we all...One thing I remembered from watching Hancock is that people react differently to fear, some cry, some get angry and most live with it as if its part of their own lives. I believe that fear is also the quintessential human thing that is the source of our greatest strength and greatest weakness and not just hope. Most of times, hope and fear come hand in hand. For example, if your neighbor has sent a hitman to kill you just because your dog pooped on his lawn, what would you do. He is in your house and you are hiding. There are 2 ways you can deal with the situation. You can surrender yourself in the hope that you can talk the hitman into killing your neighbor instead. Or you can hide in the fear that you would get killed if you didn't show himself. The later helps to keep you alive, but there is also the hope that you will survive that helps to keep the fear from reaching delirious levels. So its a combination of both fear and hope that keeps you going. There is another way of looking at it, of course.

For a long time, I realized that even if my friends hurt me in some way, I shouldn't tell them about it and behave as I had before. Love them as I did. It was my fear of hurting them that I never seemed to mention it to them. I had thought that the ability to forgive and forget the silly mistakes of people who have given you so much love and care was probably the greatest virtue known to man. I guess there again, friendship takes a toll. Cause when I make those same silly mistakes, nobody forgives and the worst part is they remember every small mistake you made but none they themselves made. How can you tell them that you still love them and there is nothing that can dissuade me from doing that. I guess there again fear comes into picture, fear of talking about others mistakes and telling them about yours. The second part is easy, saying sorry, but the first part is the most difficult, making them realize their own mistakes. Well, I guess I may just have gone beyond the point of no return, I guess fear has overcome hope. The only thing to do now is pray for them and love them as you had before. Maybe there is hope still.

To start a new life, you need to fill yourself with hope to such an extent that it balances out the fear you have of everything. I hope i can do that....after all, fear is my middle name......